This morning is a lovely morning. Ok, rubbish in a weather sense – howling wind, and that misty rain that makes everything damp. But great because I realise how my batteries have recharged after spending time with my family (which I did last night) and meeting brilliant #standout people (which I did yesterday afternoon). My mind has been busily dissecting and analysing the afternoon’s example; thinking about why they were so memorable, particularly given we’ve only met once. Why have they stayed firmly in my mind, as great people and professionals? It’s really simple, and let me explain.
It’s often said that “first impressions last”, so you need to manage those first few minutes when you meet someone. Actually, given how judgemental many people can be, they have probably made their decision about you in the first few SECONDS – if you doubt that, then Google “The 7/11 Rule” by Michael Solomon. But to really #standout, you need to manage your next impression and your last impression as well. And that’s what the daughter/mother team I met yesterday managed to do – subconsciously and instinctively. It was obvious that their:
- first impression was of smiling positivity, as they welcomed me into their home and business (which created connection)
- next impression was their sparky interest in my work, and how it could be applied to theirs (which created energy)
- last impression was of firm commitment to moving things forward, and making things happen (which created trust)
This all meant that our planned ninety-minute meeting lasted over four hours, and I was absolutely buzzing. What advice would I give? Practice your first impression. But be mindful that it’s your next and last impressions that create the lasting impact. The author Sonya Parker once said that:
Almost everyone will make a good first impression. But only a few will make a good lasting impression.
So focus on those three elements. Be mindful of them, when you meet new people or encounter new situations. Control them when you can. Manage them from FIRST to LAST. Because people who do that are so impressive. And in a crowd of people, and a world of many things, impressive makes you so #standout.
Like everyone else, I feel like sometimes I do a brilliant job, mostly I’m pretty good, and occasionally I’m plain lousy. But it never ceases to amaze me how, when I’m in control/in the zone/in the moment, how easily I can improve my own performance. And how I can get the best out of other people. Here’s an example.
I run the member services and learning event division of Henley Business School. We are always looking for new speakers to lead our events. And this week I met a really interesting one but, if I’d judged him on the first few minutes of our conversation, we wouldn’t be working together. First impressions were OK, but I was struggling to see how he would fit with what I do. It took quite a while before we made a connection and found an event angle he’s gone away to turn into a programme. And it’s going to be #distinctive and different, and I’m excited already!
Here were my learnings from this example. They are all about “finding the fabulous”.
- Accept that it’s your job to get the best from people. You’ve failed if you don’t, and life is so much more rewarding when you do.
- Ignore your first impressions, at least sometimes. Test whether you are right, by giving people the time to show their #value.
- Suspend disbelief (meaning putting aside your doubt or skepticism) for long enough to hear out someone’s story. Because eventually you’ll find a connection. And connected people create great ideas.
Maybe I’m smugly saying I did a great job with this guy. Or maybe he worked on me, until we found that great idea. I don’t know. And I don’t care. Either way we’re on to something. And it’s so motivating when you end up finding the fabulous. You wake up smiling at 05.00, and have to blog about it. And, for me, that’s a wonderful start to the day.
I have a strange routine on my daily commute to work. It’s a proper yin and yang – listening to The Today Programme @BBCr4today in the morning, and choosing from my pretty big collection of pop music CDs for the winding and country drive home in the evening (yes, I still listen to CDs. It’s not because I’m low-tech. They sound better than MP3s!)
So I spend some time singing pop songs at the top of my voice, and then the rest reflecting on really powerful journalism and thoughtful business stories. And something on Radio 4 made me think, and then apply the principles to my day job. It’s about the rise of “soft power”.
Joseph S. Nye (diplomat, political scientist and Professor at Harvard) coined the phrase ‘soft power’ in 1990. Broadly it means promoting positive perceptions of a country’s interests and identity overseas. It’s used to describe the way a country like China is changing the way it influences the world in general. For example, helping the world see a nation’s point of view makes the media king. China is allowing more radio and TV channels (e.g. China Radio International and including those transmitting in foreign-languages) to broadcast regionally and nationally.
If some of the most dominant nations in the world are seeing that a different approach is needed, then we all need to take note. This is about a recognition that:
- the past allowed CONTROL over people and companies, but
- the future requires the INFLUENCE of society and business.
And that takes me nicely to the point about leadership and leaders. The #value of a leader used to be derived from their ability to control. In today’s much more complex world, leaders can’t even hope to control everything. So the future #value of a leader will come from something very different – their ability to influence the behaviour of others.
If anyone else is feeling a bit skeptical, thinking that this kind of influence is just an “iron fist in a velvet glove” (meaning it is still control, but disguised as influence) then you’d have a point. But I do think it’s more subtle than that. I’m not going to do justice, in one blog, to the theme of influencing others. But what I do know is that influence requires conscious or unconscious understanding of neuroscience, communication, gravitas, empathy, engagement, coaching and change – and the list goes on.
So if you want to be that #standout leader, take any opportunity you can to practice and perfect your skills in this area. Or just make everything you do become focused on influencing the behaviours of others. The rise of soft power is inevitable, and you’d better start developing yours 🙂
Having visited the CIPD conference in London a few months ago, and many events and conferences since, something has been bothering me. At the CIPD, I was impressed by the variety of companies exhibiting (including my own Henley Business School). And it confirmed something interesting about the creation of a value proposition – a value proposition that makes a particular company #standout.
It was pretty obvious that the bigger the company, the less #distinctive the proposition. The smaller the company, the more #distinctive they appeared. And by #distinctive, I’m talking about the visuals, the artwork, the brochures, the words and even the people. So why would this be so? Why would bigger companies fail to differentiate themselves? OK, I admit there are lots of reasons, and I am going to focus on just one.
In many situations, big companies have the edge. It’s clear that when:
- service is about handling volume, or
- complex relationships require many interactions between people, or
- when there is a multi-site environment
many hands indeed make light work. You need many people involved, to deliver the process or service to your chosen markets. Effectively. Efficiently. Economically.
But when it comes to articulating value, many hands make heavy work. Smaller companies have fewer of their own people to convince, and usually someone senior that “birthed the baby” and has a strong view on how their business should be positioned. Bigger companies have structures, systems, stakeholders and sensibilities. These need to be respected. And that takes time, and means lots of people to involve in developing your value proposition.
Getting lots of people involved in defining the value your company offers (and creating your value proposition) makes it tough to produce something distinctive. Different people have different perceptions as to what makes your company valuable to its customers (and they want their view heard). Others lack the bravery to use the emotive language that describes your true points of difference, afraid that shareholders or the general public will react badly to that (think of the recent UK elections, if you want evidence of how fear can mute the debate and make the main parties seem spookily similar, at national and local level). And that’s before you wonder whether enough decision-makers have the superior language capability needed, to articulate company value in a #distinctive way that everyone understands. That’s a tough ask…
So if you involve lots of people in defining your value, it’ll be heavy and hard work. And the result is that you’ll probably take the safe route. Customers will be eating vanilla ice-cream. Now there are some wonderful varieties of vanilla ice-cream. The challenge is how you get people to taste yours, when all vanilla sounds and looks the same.
But you have to involve your people, right? You need to be seen to do that – to ask for opinions, and generate ideas. And you should be doing that – you want the people involved that see value like a child they nurture. I’m in complete agreement, but its all about when. When should you ask your people for their input? My recommendation is simple. Involve as many people you like in focus groups or meetings to debate your value. Do that early in the process. And listen for the language your people use. Make sure you note and record their precise words and expressions, as they explain how they deliver value to customers (or tell you what they want to do differently). Feel their emotion. Make sure you use lots of that language in your value proposition (but don’t make it wordy). And re-tell their stories. Share their anecdotes.
But never ask a committee to develop the value proposition itself. Otherwise you’ll end up with something pretty neutral. A compromise. A consensus. And collateral (like the exhibition stand) that looks “me too” and “samey”. Instead choose a deliberately diverse group of people and bring them together. People that “get” what you’re trying to do. And lock yourselves in a room. Hire a facilitator and illustrator. And don’t come out until you’re finished. You’ll be amazed by the great results.
That becomes your value proposition. The ice-cream flavour will be at least neapolitan. Or you may have created a whole new flavour. And check out the Dorset Ice Cream @dorseticecream shop in Weymouth. 17 flavours of ice cream, and 7 sorbets. But they #standout because the flavours are #distinctive. That’s what draws in the customer. And my favourite’s the Pimm’s flavour sorbet. You really have to try it…
You’ve caught me taking a break. Tough day, and time to reflect on some interesting things that happened in the wonderful world of corporate!
And I started thinking about one of my supplier relationships. They are not a major supplier. They don’t impact my work every day. But they are important, and supply a valuable service.
But they are not the best to deal with. They are neither good at making me feel informed, nor at updating me on their progress. They check-in too infrequently. They like to be kept alone; to get on with what they are doing. They struggle to follow some clear instructions, and question too much (even too much for my liking – and I grew up being challenged and loving the energy that creates). But bizarrely, I keep using them. Why?
It’s simple really. The MERIT Method℠ uses the following five factors to define and measure value:
- Memory (how people recall or remember you, and the influence of their perceptions)
- Emotion (why they connect with you, and the state and reactions you create)
- Results (what you do or could deliver, and the various approaches and methods you use)
- Innovation (where you create more value, and solve or overcome important and specific problems)
- Time (when people acknowledge value, and the ways you manage those phases and stages)
This supplier is good at Memory. When I think of them, I remember that we’ve had a longstanding relationship. They are well respected, and know our business. But something else is more important. They produce Results. They deliver what’s needed and, even when I am beginning to doubt them, pop up with another success story. The problem is that they are lousy at managing Emotion – in this case meaning how the buyer (me!) feels about the day-to-day relationship. So they may help me reach of the summit of the mountain, and plant the flag, but I won’t enjoy the trip.
So, what I am concluding? It’s rare (in my world anyway) to keep using anything or anyone when “doing business” is a challenge. Where that Emotion isn’t right. But people can get away with most things if they produce Results. Maybe they’ll be fired as soon as they stop producing those Results, but they’re safe for now.
But there is one important thing I need to stress, before I get back to work. Key to Memory is trust. This is a supplier I trust. Trust to do a professional job. And trust is at the centre of everything. Whilst it’s there, I’m happy to keep them. And happy to wait patiently, util they recognise the issues and take the chance to improve. What I personally feel on a day to day basis is irrelevant. It’s all about Results.
Earlier in the week I met with John Peters @Johnpeters1531. John is famous for being a prisoner in the Gulf War. Remember him? He was the guy whose battered and bruised face appeared in photos across the quality and popular press. It turns out he was kept in captivity for seven weeks, and became a symbol of a war that divided opinion across the UK.
Yet he doesn’t rush to tell the story (despite having met royalty, chatted to Princess Diana, followed Nelson Mandela on stage, and being a major celebrity). Instead he’s a humble human being, who talks about “being bombed etc” as if that was just part of his job. He’s gone way past the bravado I might have expected from a military hero. And I loved him for it. It demonstrated a warm and likeable style that’s important for anyone speaking at The Henley Partnership @Henley_HP.
And this told me something new about value. His humility impressed me, intrigued me and interested me. It made me look for his real value; what he offers in terms of life and work experience to the business professionals we bring into our events. It made me believe that he’ll make sense, and be valuable, to the people listening. In the Gulf it was about survival, which taught John lots about leadership. And he’s turned his experiences into a relaxed yet robust framework to help leaders thrive in an environment of uncertainty. That’s not just valuable. It’s critical to the success of anyone in a leadership role.
So back to that humility. When it comes to value, showing humility “shines and amplifies” but arrogance “dulls and deadens”. I’ve seen arrogance too much lately – from junior players in cricket to senior figures in business. It makes me focus too much on the person’s style, and not enough on their substance. And if I don’t like the style, maybe I’ll ignore the substance.
So here’s my advice. Be brilliant. Be confident. Be assured. But show that humility. Even when you’re so talented that it’s hard to be humble. Your value will be obvious to everyone, and that will really make you #standout.
P.S. Meritology’s The MERIT Method℠ includes a clear focus on how value is affected by the emotional reaction of the person receiving. This blog is just one example. Please get in touch if you’d like to know more.